What Are You?

I should prefix this with: does it matter?

But perhaps sometimes I need to explain what I am, although maybe it’s more about understanding myself than anything. I was asked recently “what do I go by?” and I really struggled to find an answer.

One of my greatest kink inspirations (kink-spirations?) is Cam Damage and Reflective Desire and seeing them for the first time awakened something in me. It’s perfectly ok to want to be an anonymous rubber drone some of the time, and at others, a debauched piss-whore, or a fuzzy-toppy-muscle-boy, or whatever else mood I’m in.

When I was a teenager, I found other boys was where I had my main attraction (although I did have a girlfriend) but could never do anything about it until I was older. I was also clearly, looking back, an utter pervert (searching in newsgroups, yes, I am that old, for ‘alt.sex.watersports’ expecting to find cute guys in wetsuits and finding something else entirely, which wasn’t a turn off).

Later in life I thought ‘bi’ was a more appropriate label, but realistically my attraction there was really only to kink I think: a pivotal moment was being in a grope box at Torture Garden and having many totally unknown hands touch every part of me was… mind blowing.

These days, if we want or need to label, I would describe myself as a pan sexual enby. I have a long term male partner but enjoy playing with boys, girls, trans guys and girls, non-binaries, and gender fluid folks. The more the merrier as far as I’m concerned, just as long as it’s kinky.

So what do you call me? Just Loki is fine.