Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Colorectal Surgery, And Gay Kink

A slight break from your regular scheduled programming to bring you something that hopefully won’t affect you, but if it does, you’ll find a woeful lack of information about. But first: I am not a medical doctor, however I have lived with Crohn’s Disease for the best part of 25 years – obviously my experiences are n=1 and therefore may differ from yours, but I hope my perspective is helpful.

Diseases of the bowel are unpleasant and difficult to talk about at the best of times, let alone when combined with living as an active gay man. Most medical professionals (at least in my more recent experiences) have been understanding and accommodating but it often feels like having to come out all over again: “this is my husband” when sat in a consultation room or ward together, for example [1]. Bowel diseases can lead to lethargy, complex diets, and urgent trips to the toilet, all of which can really interfere with an active social life. In the same way, being “ano-receptive” in the dry medical terminology (you enjoy getting fucked in the ass) can be a bit of a non-starter – bowel disease also evolves over time and I’ve personally found the shift from being a bottom to a top mentally difficult to adjust to.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease
IBD affects somewhere around 0.5% of the population in Westernised countries. There was a marked increase in the diseases in the 1990s, however this has stabilised in recent years. There are various forms of IBD but the most common are Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis. Crohn’s can affect the gut from top to tail and is characterised by small patches of active disease (inflammation) interspersed with healthy bowel. Ulcerative Colitis (UC) predominantly affects the colon and anus, with disease affecting all parts of the bowel. Symptoms of IBD include diarrhoea, bleeding, cramping pain and fatigue. Medical treatment of IBD includes steroids (and sadly not the muscle-building kind), immuno-modulatory drugs, and newer “biologics” like Humira.
So far, nothing a quick google search wouldn’t tell you, but what about the impact on your sex life? Well, obviously being continuously tired or needing to dash to the toilet with little notice can rather affect ass play or a heavy bondage scene. Most IBD sufferers will be aware of their own symptoms and can usually predict whether today is going to be a good day for adventurous situations or not, but explaining this to someone you’ve arranged a meet with can be more tricky. So, tops, if someone tells you they have IBD, don’t automatically assume they’re a flake if they pull out at the last minute.
More practically, receptive anal sex (getting fucked) can be uncomfortable if you have IBD. Whilst social pressure can be strong, listen to your own body and what you can and can’t do. It’s worth discussing with your doctor, although they’re likely to be risk adverse. Obviously, if you have inflammation and ulceration in your ass, this is going to make getting fucked painful. There is some evidence to suggest that Crohn’s Disease sufferers have a less elastic bowel wall which can make things uncomfortable. Active inflammation can also make the bowel wall more permeable to infection so it’s important to practice safe sex [2].

Colorectal Surgery
Around 80% of IBD sufferers will require surgery at some point in their lives, of varying degrees. Some will require a permanent stoma formation where the bowel is diverted into an external bag. For many IBD sufferers this can give them their life back, but it’s worth considering its impact on your sex life – doctors may well you “it will have no impact” without realising this may not necessarily be true for a gay fetishist. What will be the impact on you wearing tight latex, or getting fucked (some stoma formations result in you losing your anus)? I can’t give you a great answer here, but these are things to ask and discuss with your partners and doctors.
Fissures and fistulas can affect the whole population (prevalence is about 0.01%), but having IBD greatly increases the chances of one. A fissure is a tear in the lining of the anus which causes pain and bleeding when using the toilet, or obviously, when indulging in ass play. There are various medical and surgical treatments for fissures, but it’s probably best not to have anal sex until you’re healed.
A fistula is a tunnel from the inside of the anus. This can become infected which leads to an abscess, an intensely painful experience. Fistulae rarely resolve themselves and surgery is generally required, which can involve “laying open” of the tract, itself a not overly comfortable healing process. Depending on where the fistula was, this could involve cutting through sphincter muscle and may lead to some loss of continence [3]. 
My personal experience suggests that ass play is going to be off limits if you have any kind of fissure or fistula surgery, and you have complications such as IBD. 

Many doctors will not automatically provide help and information to gay men about sex and relationships that are impacted by IBD and colorectal surgery. You, as a patient, will need to come out all over again, but in my experience, once you’ve done this, you’re likely to receive a sympathetic and understanding response.
Colorectal surgery can have serious impacts on life as a gay man. As well as time for physical healing, addressing mental health challenges and giving time for relationships to adjust is important.
Members of the gay fetish scene should be aware of IBD and how this can affect societal pressures.



If you have any comments or experiences to add (either as a patient or healthcare provider) please add them below or email me via loki at this domain.

The Drones Shall Inherit The City

Rubber drone photos with an interesting backdrop from the weekend.

Black Tulip Amsterdam

For some reason I ended up thinking back to one of the first kinky overseas holidays we ever took, way back in 2004, to the then Black Tulip in Amsterdam, an infamous leather and bondage hotel. I think I stayed there three times in total, including once for work! (it was a conference at short notice, and everywhere in the city was booked out).

Sadly it closed in about 2012, and although there’s a hotel still in the same building with nods back to its past, it doesn’t feel like the same. I’m not sure there’s much of a photographic record left of this (to me) important part of leather culture, but here’s my small contribution.

The FuckFace™

I’ve seen a few S10 gas masks modified to include a Fleshlight in them over the years, I think the concept of them appeals to my drone / objectification fetish, but often the actual look is a bit too “anatomical” for my liking

I thought I’d have a go at making my own, and I had someone donate a size 3 S10 to the cause, so I could break it, but actually things have turned out pretty well. I think I’d perhaps prefer a hooded one, but I can get that sorted later.

If you want to make your own, it turns out not to be too tricky if you’re a bit handy with a Dremel.

  1. Firstly, you’ll need an S10 and a Fleshlight Flight Aviator.
  2. Remove the speaker box from the front of the S10 – all the parts are push fit plastic that are pretty firmly pressed together but you can remove with a wide, rounded screwdriver or a spudger. Some of the plates fix from the inside as well, and you’ll need to remove all the drinking straw bits too, and the inlet valve from the left hand side.
  3. The fleshlight itself has two screw-on caps at either end and the inner silicone sleeve thing. The end of the fleshlight sleeve is the thing you’ll want to salvage – this is actually held on by a couple of plastic tangs from the rest of the sleeve which you can slip a small screwdriver under to release.

    I’ve marked in red above the bit you want to keep and the red arrow shows the plastic tang you’ll need to press on with the screwdriver to release (there’s another on the opposite side).
    I also wanted a kind of “washer” so cut the whole section makred in blue with the plastic tangs off with a fine saw blade (after removing the bit above). There’s a nice line in the plastic to guide you.
  4. The next step is to cut a reasonably wide groove along the red bit salvaged, this will be used to fit the rubber of the mask into. I used a Dremel cutting disk. This step may not be necessary, but I figured it would help the robustness of it all.
  5. You can now fit the red part into the front of the mask, then fit the blue bit from inside the mask – the tangs should engage and sandwich the rubber of the mask between the two.
  6. I then used some black silicone on the front and inside of the mask to glue it all into place. You can tidy it all up once it’s set, but a soapy-water-finger can be used to smooth it all out once applied. This does smell a bit for a few days, but will eventually go. Make sure it’s a food safe one.
  7. You can then trim down the fleshlight inner (or not!) which then just slots neatly in, and easily removes for cleaning.

Good luck with yours, let me know if you have any questions in the comments!

Public Latex

One of my major fetishes(?) is seeing people wear latex out in non-kinky situations, or “stealthy” rubber under street clothes. I’ve done it a couple of times, but really only at Folsom so I guess that doesn’t count – perhaps I’m not really brave enough, although in London most people probably aren’t going to bat an eye. Maybe.

Anyway, at the start of 2018 I received a latex copy of a Team GB cycle suit and thought it would be fun to shoot it outside in a “cycling” type scene. There were actually a huge number of people around as we were taking photos, but no comments thrown our way – maybe this is a motivator to do more :)

This also completes one of my goals I set at the start of the year, and I have plans to address a couple of the others soon too:


New and improved Autofuck

Our fucking machine had been stuck in a corner gathering dust as there was no easy way to arrange it to work against someone in the sling, when suspended in our bondage frame. On a whim, I decided to whip up a frame to hold it vertically (its legs only tilt +/- 30 degrees of horizontal and are quite short) to see if I might get some more use of it, especially as we enjoy suspending subs :)

And it’s a great success as ably demonstrated by my test subject. A Manfrotto clamp helps hold a Venus onto the fuck machine frame for that total, hands-free workout.



If you want to build your own adapter for the F Machine Pro, you’ll need:

  • 6 x 23cm 33.7mm tube
  • 2 x 50cm 33.7cm tube
  • 4 x 90 degree elbow
  • 6 x short Ts

Make a square on the ground, with two T piece on opposite sides for the 50cm tubes to rise vertically. 4 Ts on the risers hold the F Machine in place – you’ll need to use some tape for a snug fit:

Rubber boy

It started with a text:

I found this waiting for me:

Good boys get rewarded:

UK Age Verification

In less than a month, the UK will require all “commercial” sites that “make available” pornography to implement an age verification system. The UK’s film censor, the BBFC will enforce this and will have quasi-judicial powers to make ISPs block sites that don’t comply. It seems unclear about who they will target, but it seems likely that they’ll target the top 100 sites given they’re not well resourced for this – personal sites are possibly to be ignored, at least for now.

The legislation states that it applies to sites that make content available on a “commercial basis”, even if they’re loss making. As a result, I’ve removed any affiliate links on the site. Full disclosure: in the last decade I’ve received <£300 from this but it was nice to buy the odd bit of gear.

A further complication is that Pornhub have been chosen to deploy the system of age verification, AgeID. My main concern is that this will generate a giant database of viewing habits ripe for the purloining. I’ve always been clear that I don’t use any tracking (like Google Analytics) and I even go to the effort of explicitly not storing any server logs of visits. Although AgeID might be “free” (for now?) I would rather close the site rather than open up viewers to a giant multinational and governmental database.

A wider concern is sites like Twitter and Tumblr. I can see Tumblr dropping porn blogs, given their parent owner seems want rid of them anyway. Twitter has been more inclined to protect free speech but in the face of extreme pressure will they implement a system of age verification for access to individual users for all global users and not just UK ones?

I’ll be here as long as I can. ✌

Drone Dick

@emsedonyk is such an ass slut now, I got a massive rubber drone dick to fuck him with. I got a reward though ^_^


Rubber Drone

I recently completed my rubber drone ensemble which I’ve had a few questions about, so I’ll do my best to answer them. Base suit is from STR, feet, hands and from Blackstyle.

The S10 is a hard-to-find dual intake version. The standard version only has a port on the wearer’s left hand side, but some with intakes on both side were made, apparently for heavily contaminated environments or maybe simply to accommodate left-handed shooters. You can find them (and the not-so-nice in my opinion, FM12) on ebay – I spent £70, which did come with canisters and haversak, and the same amount again with Regulation to fit a hood. Still comes in under a regular one, so I’m happy! I swapped out the lenses for mirrored polycarbonate I bought on eBay for £12. Hoses are standard NATO black ones, but I think I might get shorter ones.

The backpack is from Fetishak, who I’d not used before, but I found their great rubber breathing bag somewhere. I’d been lusting after the smell bag from Rubbers Finest for a long time, but I actually think the Fetishak version looks much better, and it’s way cheaper! It’s a shame they don’t do them in more colours (red and black only) but actually I’m very happy with the all black one. The bag has a zipper (so you can still breathe) but you can drop in a sponge of your favourite odour or just enjoy the amazing rubber smell.

Anyway, hope this helps someone recreate the look, enjoy the pictures and sorry about the silicone on the lens :)

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